Where to turn?

So I have been reflecting a lot lately about life and my career. When I was in high school I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was called by God into ministry. I knew that it was where I would find peace and happiness serving Him through a career. The years went by and I soon neglected that calling. I got wrapped up into the parties and drinking and doing a lot of things that I thought were a whole lot of fun, at the time. I graduated High school in 2005. It wasn't until last year that I really felt God saying to me that I had fallen away from Him and that if I was still going to serve Him that I would need to get my life back on track. Now since I had wasted 3 years of college with nothing to show for it except for some bad grades and even worse habits, I knew that getting my life back on track wouldn't be easy. As I said before it was last year that I felt God calling me to ministry. I didn't know how or what that would look like but I knew it was what I am supposed to do. I dusted off my resume which hadn't been touched since I was hired at BJs Wholesale Club in Allentown, PA, and submitted it for consideration for a Worship Pastors position at our church. I knew it was a long shot due to my lack of education in the area but I truly felt that God was saying it is time, so I did. I went through the interview process and afterwards was talking to other church members and was feeling very encouraged about it. I felt that this really was where God wanted me and that this was my time. My wife and I prayed about it and both had a peace about the whole situation. It was a while until I got the phone call and I can remember it to a "T". We were driving home from my parents house and as I was driving I got the phone call. "Hello?" "Josh after consideration and prayer the search committee has come to the conclusion that we will not be including you in our final selection for the worship pastor position." He asked if I had any question or wanted to meet to discuss their reasons. I quickly said No and ended the conversation. My heart was broken. Anyone who knows me and I mean really knows me, knows that my heart is in worship ministry. I truly felt that God was saying Josh this is your chance to prove to me that you will do what I have been calling you to do for so long now. It was a very difficult next couple of months for me, wrestling with the questions of , is the really what God wants for me or not. I wasn't sure to be honest. Deep in my heart I knew the answer I just didn't know how to get there. I still don't know how I am going to get there. The only thing that I do know is that every day my wife and I pray that God would mold me into the man that he wants me to be and that he would open the doors for me to be able to step into full time ministry if it is his will. Recently God did open a door. I was approached and asked if I would be able to take leadership of one of the worship teams at the church. In that discussion I said I would yet I was unsure how it would work with my work schedule in the future. Currently I work overnight so it makes it somewhat easier to be consistently at church. But if I ever go back to working days it would make it very difficult due to me having to work Saturdays when our worship team plays. God has been teaching me patience and faithfulness through all of this. Teaching me that if I continue to look to Him for the answers that He will provide and that I need to trust in His perfect plan an Perfect timing. I know He is still calling me to full time ministry. I don't know when or where but I am content in knowing that if I lean on Him He will guide me.

Here we go!

So I always said that I would never get into this blogging thing yet I have realized over the past few months that I really should start a journal to help me remember things that I have discovered or things that I feel I just need to write down. I will try to update this often but I know how my life goes and I probably won't be able to keep up with it.